For some reason or another, I couldn’t open my mouth to share my story during today’s prayer meet. When I think back on my faith journey since I was baptized and how Fides came into the picture, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Just imagine the situation when I’m laughing too hard and cannot talk (it happens pretty often). It's the same idea. It’s not that I don’t want to share; I think I’m more comfortable talking in smaller groups.
My catechism course was a joke. Whoever has heard of RCIA that lasted only 6 months? The organizers decided it wasn’t long enough to be considered RCIA, so they changed the name to CCA instead. Whoever has heard of confirmation that happens one week after baptism? Well, the whole process gave me enough knowledge about Catholism to be baptised, but through that experience, my faith was stagnant since the time I was called by God at my Grandfather’s funeral. At the LISS after confirmation, I was incredibly boggled by the manifestation of gifts at the outpouring of the Holy Spirit because I doubted seriously that I would experience anything. Hence, that session wasn’t a fruitful one for me.
But I never lost hope in finding God. I knew whatever university I was going to, I would join the catholic society there. I remember my sponsor at IHM frantically looking for me in the midst of the after mass crowd to hand me a flyer from the joint outreach by the 3 universities. I signed up for both SMU and NUS camps because I was split between the two schools. I wanted the prestige of NUS, but the curriculum structure of SMU. If Raphael hadn’t called and told me how exciting life was at SMU (it helped that I liked salsa as well), I could have possibly chosen to go to NUS.
My first impression of a few of the seniors at FOC: Nick chia looked like a priest-wannabe giving a welcoming speech (brother, you should have cut your hair then; maybe I wouldn’t have thought that way). Ralf and Joseph looked too old to be in a youth group. When Joseph came in with long black pants and long sleeve shirt and did praise and worship, I thought he was some very religious and very devout teacher. And I don’t know why I thought Shawn looked like some pai2 gia4 (he sat next to me in a circle).
Albeit the comical beginnings, Fides was really the vector that helped my faith grow.
Without Fides, I wouldn’t have gone for YISS, discovered my gift of tongue, made a very good confession, and learnt to praise the Lord without inhibition during PNW.
Without Fides, I wouldn’t have experienced God when playing the keyboard at one of the midterm retreats.
Without Fides, I wouldn’t have discovered my gift of prophecy at one of the working retreats.
Without Fides, I wouldn’t have experienced community, among a group of people who loves God.
Without Fides, there wouldn’t be a hideout at GSR 4.6.
Without Fides, there wouldn’t be anyone to teach me MA or loan me a Finance textbook or go for latin ballroom classes with.
I cannot begin to imagine what would happen if the previous exco had lost faith. Because I would have never found mine.
God is so real to me now; Yesterday, I played the song ‘Everyday’ on the piano and found tears coming to my eyes as I sang. At the chalet on Sunday, I could feel God’s love flooding the BBQ pit area as I observed the conversation around me. And it fills me with so much joy, even though I’ve left for 3 months. It felt like I was around a week ago. The way God’s love flows through Fides is so beautiful.
I want to thank the previous exco for persevering in the hardest times.
I want to thank the community for being the beautiful people they are.
Most of all, I want to thank God for everything He’s blessed me with. The way he puts our lives together is simply too amazing.
Your loving sister,
Julia