Thoughts...

Hi all,

This is my first post in this blog. We had a meeting with the FOC heads of the 2 other varsities this afternoon and these are my thoughts.... I shared them with Peter (President CSA) and Sean (President CSS). Would like to share them with you all now.

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Dear Sean and Peter,

I trust we all had a fruitful meeting this afternoon. It is good to see students from the three universities working together. For those who have never stepped into SMU before, I hope you guys had a wonderful time admiring our school. Now you know why our school fees are so high eh? This meeting has left me with some thoughts, which I would like to share with you guys right now. I know some parts might seem a little harsh, but I have no ill intentions. The reason why I am willing to share it with you all is because I believe, in the words of Sean, “we see each other first and foremost as friends…” So let me be brutally honest. You all might not agree with me, but do take it in the right spirit.

As I was sharing with the both of you earlier on, isn’t it amazing that the 12 of us spent almost 2 hours debating and arguing about issues that the previous FOC committee debated about and then come to almost the exact same conclusion? Basically it just shows that we never learn! As I was talking to Raphael after the meeting, he told me that the same thing happened last year. They spent a long time talking about this issue. I don’t blame anyone, because I believe with the exception of me, no one else in the room knew what happened last sem. The majority in the room were year ones. Peter wasn’t involved in the FOC planning com last year, and I guess Sean too. Having an event sheet might prevent this from happening next year. Then again, I don’t want the next FOC com to be constrained by the decisions made by the previous com. This is a fine line that we have to tread.

Did you guys realize that we were actually arguing over a small amount? It was totally absurd. Assuming we have $1000 of surplus Love Offerings after covering cost. By dividing it evenly between the 3 of us and by dividing it in the ratio of 2:2:1, NUS and NTU stand to gain a grand total of $67 more in love offerings! Such a minute amount, but we spent such a long time over it and worst still, tempers were getting short and bad blood was being spilled. How much of the deficit will that additional $67 cover? The issue about people giving money without taking a shirt…. Even if we can collect an additional $1000 in offerings, it would amount to only an additional $400 for NTU and $200 for SMU. How important is that amount to us? Certainly, it is always desirable to have more money in the kitty. If that is that case, what makes us different from the other secular clubs? Who is the centre of our clubs? What is the goal of our clubs? That’s why in my closing prayer I said “… may we do Your work, not ours…” FIDES always has a “money losing” mindset. For all our events, with the exception of fund raising, we seek to lose money and charge the participants pay as little as possible. This sounds weird, coming from a student from a business school. I certainly would not make my accounting and finance profs proud of me. I am not ashamed to tell you guys that we only have less than a thousand dollars in our club account. Pathetic isn’t it? If anybody should be fighting for a bigger share of a pie, it should be us. Yes, we could do with more money in our account, but money is the least of my worries. We will do our own fund raising and stuff, we will try our best, but we will never worry about it. Somehow, God has always been good to us. We are not rich, but we were never broke. I remember once when we were almost broke, Archbishop Nicholas Chia just took $150 from his wallet and gave it to us one fine day. The best part was that he didn’t know about the dire financial situation we were in. He simply gave us the money out of the blue! That was the defining moment. We were worried before that, but after that incident, we just had this child like faith that we will always have enough. I don't know why I remembered that incident as it was almost a year ago, but it really left a deep impression on me and on the rest of the exco members. Yes. God will provide.

We may have done our own fund raising. Some more successful than others. If you have done a successful one, be glad. The Lord has laid a banquet for you and you need not worry about where or when your next meal will come. It is indeed a blessing. However, Blessed is the beggar who shares his meal with a stranger. Again I will say that I would love to have the additional $200. It represents 60% of our disposable income. What percentage of CSS and CSA disposable income does $400 represent? 10%? 20%? But if one of us needs the money more, shouldn’t we help one another? Where is the Love? It was sole lacking this afternoon. In that room, we seemed like a bunch of cut throat bankers, trying to squeeze every single cent out from one another. I admit that I am to blame too. I am no Saint. Initially, I told my people that they should be careful and try to protect FIDES’ interests. Don’t get eaten up by CSS and CSA and try to fight for the most advantageous position. It was only in the midst of our debate that I realized my foolishness and short sightedness. Indeed, it was one of my members who told me that if CSS needed the money more than us, then we should help them. I was enlightened. Come to think of it, if I were to be a non catholic observing the proceedings this afternoon, I wouldn’t think that I am in the midst of a group of catholic students. Worst still, if I were to know that I was in the midst of members of the Student Catholic Society from the 3 varsities, I will be disillusioned with the Faith. We were arguing about money! Whatever happened to loving your neighbour and helping those in need?

If you ask me, I don’t think we are all petty people wanting to count every single cent that we should get. Money has always been a tricky issue. Even among friends. The problem is not money per se. It runs deeper than that. Maybe, as the Chinese proverb goes “the outsider sees the clearest” (literal translation). Allow me to point out my observations.

If we are really serious about working with one another, our mindsets have to change. Some of us want to make sure that we are not short-changed in any bargain, some of us don’t want to be seen as kowtowing to someone else and some of us want to ensure that we “compensated” according to the effort that we put it. I know the universities have had some issues with working with one another in the past. What’s frightening is that this group of people seemed to be have those mindsets… and they are all year ones! This is their first occasion working with one another and they are already carrying the emotional and historical baggage from the previous coms. It seems to me that we are all treating one another with a degree of caution and suspicion and are doing our very best to get into the most advantageous position. It seems that we have been warned and been told of the past problems and we are all wary of one another. Have we truly forgiven each other? Can we ever forget the past? Will we ever start with a clean slate? We have to change the mindsets of our members. Such is the severity of the issue. Such is the problem that we need to overcome.

We are not working together. We are simply in an “uneasy” alliance. There is so much jostling around. Who are we? SMU Catholic Students? NUS Catholic Students? NTU Catholic Students? Or are we Catholic Students in SMU, Catholic Students in NUS and Catholic Students in NTU? Which comes first? Our school or our religion? This seems like a no brainer, Religion, of course… but our actions do not tally with our answers. We seem to put our clubs first before Him, and it is ironic as our clubs are meant to serve Him. Whichever university we belong to is only transient in nature. After 3-4 years, we will no longer be students of that university, but we will still be Catholics. We need to see that fact and stop defining the boundaries that separate us. The fact that all three clubs exist for the same purpose is reason enough for us to cast away our differences and stop being short sighted. At the end of the day, does the exco want to be known as the exco that successfully added to the bank account? Or does the exco want to be known as the exco that made a difference to the club and the members. At the end of the day, would your FOC com want to be the com that successful “fought” for a couple of hundred dollars more and “stood” their ground against the other two universities? Or the FOC com that managed to reach out and attract a large number of freshman? Enough bad blood has been spilled over the years and it is time for us to move on.

I’m not telling you guys how to run your club, I am in no position to do so. But given our positions, we should make our members see beyond the horizon. We have masses and prayer meets and cell groups and such, but what’s the point if we are not living our faith? What’s the point if we are going to be so calculating with our own Brothers and Sisters? What’s the difference between us and the Pharisees and Scribes in Jesus' time? He called them hypocrites. It is time we start practicing what we preach.

This is the first weekend of Lent. How apt! Lent is a period of reflection and contemplation. It will be a good idea to take this Lenten period to and make our members take a good look at themselves and the purpose of the club. I believed we have been called to our positions. It is time to reflect how best we can serve, not our respective clubs, but God.

What do you want to be known for?



Wishing you all a reflective and contemplative Lent
Nicholas

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Nicholas Tan